This web page is dedicated to my daughter "Gabriela Lael" who died shortly after birth on October 8, 1999 from a condition called "Potter's Syndrome", or Renal Agenesis as the more technical term. It basically means that Gabriela was conceived without kidneys and survived her nine months in my womb without any amniotic fluid. Potter's Syndrome is very rare and the chances of your baby being born with Potter's is 1/4000.

I will attempt to add some links to whatever I know about Potter's but there is not much out there. You can however e-mail me and I will be happy to share my experiences and what I know about Potter's Syndrome, as I spent the last four months of my pregnancy searching for any clues as to "what happened".

Despite knowing the outcome was terminal I decided to carry Gabriela full-term and let God's Will choose her final fate. I approached this part of my life with the love for my daughter and the support and love from my family and friends. I did not shy away from people who asked questions about my pregnancy, rather I faced them head-on and explained that my baby had Potter's and without a miracle her birth would be her death.

I found those with any faith in their hearts acknowledged and agreed in the continuation of my pregnancy with acceptance and belief that I was doing the right thing. Let me assure you that carrying full-term a terminally ill child is not easy, but if you have faith and love for your child you will welcome each day as a blessing. Each kick of my baby reminded me of her life and brought tears of sadness and joy to my eyes.

My pregnancy itself was filled with various pregnancy complications, but I would be willing to go through all of them again if only I could carry my daughter for a little while longer. Many people ask me how I could continue a pregnancy that I knew was "terminal" and how I can be so strong as I am through all that has happened. I can only answer one thing to you and that is "FAITH". God is my light and my strength. This pregnancy has led me back to God and I feel blessed to have found my way back to Him. I read an interesting quote the other day in a book that simply said "Faith is not meant to carry us around our problems, rather it is to carry us through them". I know now that is true!

I have added a detailed history of my pregnancy and the information that was discovered. If it may help someone out there, then God Bless. As I said before I would not change a thing that I did, and feel blessed for having carried my Angel Baby to full-term.

              

 
 
Dear God...
 
Can you hear me?
Please, God. Do you hear my cries?
The ones that echo pain deep within my mind and heart.
She is gone, God. My little girl is dead.
And I love her so.
I've tried to pray, to seek and to beg
Yet still, she is gone.
I would have given my life for hers...

I do not understand.
You see, God, she left so suddenly.
Without saying goodbye- or even hello.
How can it be that she has changed my life so?
How can it be that others think I should forget her so abruptly
and go on with my life?
How can I pretend that she did not exist?

For her life and death has brought me on my knees, to You.
And now, I seek the peace, which only Your midst can harbor
To ease this overwhelming grief.

But, still God, I feel cheated.
I feel so very desperate for her presence.
I never looked into her eyes
I never told her how much she meant to me.
I never kissed her gently with the smile of a proud mother,
but only with tear burdened eyes.
But you can God.
Please, please tell her for me.
For I know she is in Your care.


Tell her that her beauty has left me many priceless gifts.
Tell her that I think of her- Everyday, every hour, every moment.
Tell her how deeply I love and miss her.
Hold her in Your majestic arms, just for me, Lord.
Rock her gently and whisper in her ear
Tell her that her Mommy aches for her, still and always.

For the only strength that remains is the strength which You grant me
In knowing that You, and only You, Father
Can love her the way that I do...

Amen

1999, by Joanne Cacciatore, an excerpt from "Dear Cheyenne" Do not reprint without permission
Thanks Joanne for your permission to use this beautiful prayer!

~ Little Angels ~

When God calls little Angels to dwell with Him above
We mortals sometime question the wisdom of His love,
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child,
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold.
So he picks a rose bud, before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them, and so He takes but a few,
To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult, still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows, will always be "goodbye".
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children & angels are hard to find.

~Author Unknown~


 


~ My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion ~
(words so true to my heart)

Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on
Far across the distance and spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more, you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more, you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on.

 

 
~ Our Beautiful Portrait of Gabriela Lael ~
 
Gabriela's portrait was sent to us as a gift in 2002 from our friends in England, Justine & Andrew and their children Sophie and Ben and their two Heavenly Angels Jack and Sam.
It was drawn from the original Black & White Photo of Gabriela on the left, as shown above, in beautiful 'Semi~Color' Pastels.
 

The Photo above was taken after we had the Portrait professionally Framed.

 

Please find below some Links to My Special Pages of Photos of my Angel Gabriela Lael.

Photos of Me 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th

  Photos of Gabriela Lael 1st, 2nd, 3rd

  Gabriela Lael with her Grandma  1st

Below are some more Links to Pages that I have created and also a Link to 'The Potters Syndrome Forum and Website', that I co-host, bringing families together that find themselves being faced with the Heartache, known as 'Potters'.

My Story

My Personal Website (in works)

  Pregnancy Loss Poetry

  My Personal Thank You's

In Memory of my Miscarried Babies

Potter's Syndrome Support Forum    Potter's Syndrome Website

Sign my Guestbook   Send me Email

 

Website Designed and Created for a baby angel named Gabriela Lael by
Daniela Faith's, Christina Hope's & Matthew Alexander's Mommy, Michele.

Michele 1999 ~ 2013